Not so good

It is getting more difficult to be here. I'm taking one post to complain so then I can get back to enjoying the last few weeks of my trip.

It's mostly because of the heat. In Varanasi right now the highs are hitting 104 degrees, and the lows only into the mid 80s. Like a Texas summer, only I don't have air conditioning and even the fan in my room stops working when the power goes out (which usually happens multiple times throughout the day and night). Sometimes at night I just lie awake, sweating, praying for the fan to come on again.

The heat would be more bearable if I could go swimming, but the Ganga is so dirty here that I won't chance it. Yesterday I took a long rickshaw ride across town and paid to use the pool at a fancy hotel. I haven't been so thrilled to see an ordinary pool since I was a kid! It was heavenly to wear a bikini, lounge in the shade, and take a cool dip whenever I felt warm (oh yeah, because another thing is that women have to stay covered up here, so in public I can't even wear tank tops or shorts). The water saved me.

Add to this that I've been a bit sick lately. I'm not sure of the cause but my stomach is not right. Two days ago I laid in bed alllllll day, feeling too ill and exhausted to get up. This makes eating here a lot less fun. It isn't always easy to find nice healthy food here and often I'll order something and it will come out completely different than what I'd expected. I am missing the comfort foods of home, and big time missing having a kitchen.

I'm sick of breathing the smog, the piles of burning trash, the constant honking, buying bottled water, and the dust in my eyes. I'm tired of not being able to walk down the street without a barrage of stares, and people trying to sell me things, or take me places, or be my boyfriend. I just want to walk peacefully, normally, you know?

Maybe it's a blessing that I'm feeling like this now. Because I'm getting more and more ready to come home to the U.S. and it won't be long till I get to. 21 days and counting...